“Gay marriage doesn't affect you. If you don't like it, don't get one. Why do you care what other people do?”
Many conservatives have accepted same-sex marriage — public opinion has shifted dramatically. The remaining concern isn't about what gay couples do; it's about government compelling religious institutions and individuals to participate in ceremonies that violate their faith. Tolerance should go both ways.
Key Talking Points
- 171% of Americans now support same-sex marriage — the legal question is settled
- 2The real issue is religious liberty: bakers, florists, and adoption agencies forced to participate
- 3Jack Phillips serves gay customers — he declined a specific product that violated his faith
- 4Catholic adoption agencies were shut down despite stellar track records with children
The Full Response
I'll be direct: this is an area where conservative opinion has shifted substantially. A Gallup poll in 2023 found that 71% of Americans support same-sex marriage, including a significant number of Republicans. The Supreme Court settled the legal question in Obergefell v. Hodges (2015), and most conservatives have moved on.
But the 'it doesn't affect you' framing overlooks the real, ongoing conflict: religious liberty. After same-sex marriage was legalized, the question became whether individuals and institutions with sincere religious objections could be compelled to participate.
Baker Jack Phillips of Masterpiece Cakeshop was sued for declining to create a custom wedding cake for a same-sex ceremony. Florist Barronelle Stutzman lost her business for the same reason. Catholic adoption agencies in multiple states were shut down for placing children exclusively with married male-female couples, despite stellar track records.
These aren't cases of businesses refusing to serve gay customers. Phillips serves gay customers regularly. He declined to create a specific product that violated his religious convictions — the same freedom that allows a Jewish deli to refuse to cater a neo-Nazi event or a Black photographer to decline a KKK rally.
The First Amendment protects religious exercise. A pluralistic society should be able to accommodate both same-sex marriage and religious conscience. The Respect for Marriage Act (2022) codified same-sex marriage while including some religious liberty protections, showing that compromise is possible.
The concern was never 'what other people do in their homes.' It was always about whether the government would use its power to punish people of faith for living according to their convictions. Tolerance means accepting that others may disagree with you, not demanding universal approval.
How to Say It
Acknowledge the shift in opinion — don't fight the settled question. Pivot immediately to religious liberty. The baker example is well-known and sympathetic. Frame it as mutual tolerance: both sides should have their rights respected. Don't be preachy about marriage itself.
Sources — The Receipts
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